Emotional Systems

Emotional Systems

Sermon preached by the Rev. Lowell E. Grisham, O.A., Rector

St. Paul's Episcopal Church, Fayetteville, Arkansas

July 31, 2016; Proper 13, Year C, Track 2

Episcopal Revised Common Lectionary

(Luke 12:13-21)  Someone in the crowd said to Jesus, "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the family inheritance with me." But he said to him, "Friend, who set me to be a judge or arbitrator over you?" And he said to them, "Take care! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; for one's life does not consist in the abundance of possessions." Then he told them a parable: "The land of a rich man produced abundantly. And he thought to himself, `What should I do, for I have no place to store my crops?' Then he said, `I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, `Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.' But God said to him, `You fool! This very night your life is being demanded of you. And the things you have prepared, whose will they be?' So it is with those who store up treasures for themselves but are not rich toward God."

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Reading this story about a conflict over an inheritance reminds me of a story. When I was in Jackson, Mississippi, we were doing a class about attachment and detachment. In the class was one of the beloved matriarchs of our congregation, I'll call her Tillie because she has died and I can't ask her permission to tell the story and because my memory is so faulty I'm not sure I'll tell it exactly as it happened. In her 80's, Tillie had a beautiful, quick smile, a translucent white complexion, cherubic red cheeks, snow white hair, and twinkling blue eyes. She looked like a grandmother in a fairy tale story.

Our class was talking about how we get attached so easily to things and to emotions. How our attachments drive us so powerfully. Tillie spoke up in her deep Southern accent:  "Fah-tha. Mah muh-thuh had a beautiful emerald necklace. I loved and admired it so. Sometimes she would let me barrah that necklace for a special dress-up occasion. She promised she would give it to me when she died. But late in her life, when she wasn't quite able to take care of things like she used to, my sus-tuh started messin in mama's affairs. And when it came time to read Mama's will – I've nevah been so shocked in my life – the will gave that emerald necklace to my sus-tuh, and I got the back patio furniture. Now it was nice furniture… but I can tell you, to this day, every time I think of my sus-tuh wearing that emerald, it just "ticks" me off!" [I had to clean up that last bit of Tillie's language for church.]

Somewhere in Tillie's consciousness, Tillie knew: it's just stuff; everything passes. Her mother was long gone. Tillie and her sister's years were numbered. Let it go. But the energy inside her memory was still very real and powerful. And every time she thought of that emerald, the chemicals of her emotions poured through her body. "Every time I think of my sus-tuh wearing that emerald, it just "ticks me off!" She was still mad.

The word "emotion" comes from the Latin for movement, agitation, stirring up. Like what happens in your guts when they are stirred up, agitated and moving. The body holds emotions; the body preserves the history of our emotional woundings. Our most primitive emotions dwell in our body like chemical deposits ready to erupt with instant urgency. Emotions are so raw and deep, they feel like truth. Like truth demanding a response.

It's important to recognize: Emotions just are. They aren't necessarily good or bad. At their core, emotions are just energy. Chemical energy. We don't have to do anything with them unless we truly choose to.

As human beings, we've inherited three motivational systems – systems that have been necessary to our survival as a species. They motivate so much of what drives us.

The first motivational system is the fight-flight-freeze system. It is the way we react to threats. The amygdala pumps adrenaline to tell us urgently "Fight for your life!"  Or "Run!" Or "Freeze!" Our negative memories are stored in the amygdala, and it is wired negatively, to remember every possible or remotely possible threat. That shadow behind the tree? Is it a sheep or a lion? The amygdala will kill a thousand sheep in order to protect us from one shadow that might be a lion. Not good for the sheep though. The amygdala is primitive; we share it with the reptiles. And it is fast. Sending information almost instantly. "Fear!"

The second motivational system is the achievement/goal-seeking system. It gives us drive, excitement, and vitality, and it rewards us with feelings of pleasure. The chemical is dopamine, and it comes from the basal ganglia in the forebrain. Dopamine is the chemical secreted by a job well done, a Razorback touchdown or by crack cocaine. Pleasure is particularly addictive, whether it is the pleasure of constructive accomplishment or the pleasure of beating a video game. A high achieveing workaholic and a video game addict experience a similar sense of reward.

The third motivational system is the tend-and-befriend system, something particularly present in mammals. This emotional system gives us feelings of contentment, safety, and connection, like when you are holding a baby. It gives us feelings of soothing and well-being, connection with others. The chemical is oxytocin, and it is released by the pituitary, reaching into other parts of the neurological system. Oxytocin helps create the motivation of compassion.

But this third motivational system, the tend-and-befriend system is easily overridden. The threat system of fight-flight-freeze is quicker and more urgent than tend-and-befriend system. In our primitive body, fear trumps love. To a somewhat lesser degree the achievement/goal-seeking system also overrides our tend-and-befriend system. The drive for pleasure or accomplishment pushes us with deep urgency.

But this is interesting: if all is quiet – no immediate threat, no achievement drive – number 3 is where we naturally dwell – the place of tend-and-befriend, where we feel connected, content, and safe. The place of compassion.

So many spiritual practices are designed to help us detach from the force of the first two emotional systems in order to free us to live where we most naturally dwell, in the place of compassion and connection. The place of our fullest humanity. The place of love.

Coming here to worship is an opportunity shed some of our sense of fear and threat and to place our fears into God's hands, letting go in trust. Surrendering to the greater power and infinite love that carries us more surely than we can carry ourselves. Coming here to worship is a way to re-order our pleasures and desires, resting for a while in the divine presence where all is well and all manner of things shall be well. Coming here to worship is a return to our home of deep acceptance in God's infinite arms, where we are loved and embraced unconditionally and knit together into the community of the mystical Body of Christ which gathers all humanity into one. As Colossians says today, "your life is hidden with Christ in God… clothed… with the new self. Christ is all in all."

Prayer and contemplative practice help us release our attachment to the disorienting stimulations of our fears and desires so we can rest, secure in our most natural condition: safe, connected, content and compassionate in the loving presence of God. In contemplative prayer, like Centering Prayer, we take a little time, maybe twenty minutes, to gently disengage from the battering of thoughts and feelings, and for a little while, just be, naturally, in that loving, infinite presence.

The practice of Centering Prayer helps us detach from our thoughts and feelings – detach from the chemicals that bubble up within us. One discipline of Centering Prayer is the practice of the Four R's. I've taught it before, but I want to do so again. When we sit down in Centering Prayer, we gently deal with the distractions of our thoughts and feelings with the Four R's:  Resist no thought. Retain no thought. React emotionally to no thought. Return ever-so-gently to your sacred word.

That same practice can help us when the adrenaline and dopamine of our conflictive emotions and thoughts fire off within us during our ordinary hours. We experience a threat or a compulsion: Resist not. Retain not. React not. Return ever-so-gently to your center.

Emotions tend to dissipate if we don't add to them. They come and go. We can merely observe emotions; we don't have to do anything about them. We don't have to react. We can wait. We can observe rather than obey our emotions. And they can be our teachers. Showing us our own patterns that tend to compromise our freedom.

Always we are God's beloved children. "Your life is hidden with Christ in God… clothed… with the new self. Christ is all in all." That's naturally where we dwell, whenever we let go of the fear and compulsions that seek to drive us.

Dwell contented and safe within the eternal arms as God's beloved child, and from that place of peace, just watch. When adrenaline or dopamine kick in: Resist not. Retain not. React not. Return ever-so-gently to your center.

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