The Conversion of Saul

The Conversion of Saul

Sermon preached by the Rev. Lowell E. Grisham, Rector

St. Paul's Episcopal Church, Fayetteville, Arkansas

January 24, 2016; Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul

Episcopal Revised Common Lectionary

(Acts 26:9-21)  Paul said to King Agrippa, "Indeed, I myself was convinced that I ought to do many things against the name of Jesus of Nazareth. And that is what I did in Jerusalem; with authority received from the chief priests, I not only locked up many of the saints in prison, but I also cast my vote against them when they were being condemned to death. By punishing them often in all the synagogues I tried to force them to blaspheme; and since I was so furiously enraged at them, I pursued them even to foreign cities.

"With this in mind, I was traveling to Damascus with the authority and commission of the chief priests, when at midday along the road, your Excellency, I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, shining around me and my companions. When we had all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice saying to me in the Hebrew language, `Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It hurts you to kick against the goads.' I asked, `Who are you, Lord?' The Lord answered, `I am Jesus whom you are persecuting. But get up and stand on your feet; for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you to serve and testify to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you. I will rescue you from your people and from the Gentiles-- to whom I am sending you to open their eyes so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.'

"After that, King Agrippa, I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision, but declared first to those in Damascus, then in Jerusalem and throughout the countryside of Judea, and also to the Gentiles, that they should repent and turn to God and do deeds consistent with repentance. For this reason the Jews seized me in the temple and tried to kill me."

+    +    +

(Galatians 1:11-24) I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that the gospel that was proclaimed by me is not of human origin; for I did not receive it from a human source, nor was I taught it, but I received it through a revelation of Jesus Christ.

You have heard, no doubt, of my earlier life in Judaism. I was violently persecuting the church of God and was trying to destroy it. I advanced in Judaism beyond many among my people of the same age, for I was far more zealous for the traditions of my ancestors. But when God, who had set me apart before I was born and called me through his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son to me, so that I might proclaim him among the Gentiles, I did not confer with any human being, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were already apostles before me, but I went away at once into Arabia, and afterwards I returned to Damascus.

Then after three years I did go up to Jerusalem to visit Cephas and stayed with him fifteen days; but I did not see any other apostle except James the Lord's brother. In what I am writing to you, before God, I do not lie! Then I went into the regions of Syria and Cilicia, and I was still unknown by sight to the churches of Judea that are in Christ; they only heard it said, "The one who formerly was persecuting us is now proclaiming the faith he once tried to destroy." And they glorified God because of me.

_______________________

Do you care about what other people think about you? Are there certain people in your life whose approval is critical to you? People you want to impress or maybe please? You want them to think well of you, so it is important for you to earn their respect or maybe even their love.

Who are some of those people? You can think about the present, but think also about the past. My father, for instance, had high expectations of me, and I wanted so badly to earn his acceptance. There were times it seemed pretty impossible. That left me pretty anxious a lot of the time. At other times, it made me angry. Maybe you've had parents or teachers or bosses that you just couldn't satisfy, even when you gave it your best.

Or maybe you've had a some public challenges—something you had to do in front of others, and it was important for you to do it well; it was important not to mess up or to make a fool of yourself. Those kinds of situations can leave you pretty anxious.  

Or, how about this? Have you ever been part of a group where measuring up to the group norms was critical? Where you were expected to be a certain way, think a certain way, hold up the group standards, and if you didn't, you would bring shame on the group, shame on yourself, and maybe even risk get kicked out as unworthy. With that group, you'd better fit in, you'd better prove yourself. Or else.

The good young man Saul was living with all of these things. And he was managing it all. He was successful. He was the best. Practically perfect. He says of himself, "I advanced in Judaism beyond many among my people of the same age, for I was far more zealous for the traditions of my ancestors," than the rest of them. Saul was a member of the strict party of the Pharisees. A political party, a social movement, and a religious school of thought. His was a high calling, an inspiring, moral calling, to be a good Pharisee. The Pharisees stood for what was good and right. Pharisees believed that all Jews in their ordinary lives could live holy lives, as the priesthood of all believers. They practiced and taught the mindful observation of the ancient laws of God, and promoted the careful observance the Mitzvot, the 613 commandments of the scripture.

Saul was accomplished in this great movement. He wrote of his heritage, that he was "circumcised on the eighth day, a member of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrews born of Hebrews; as to the law, blameless." He was successful. Practically perfect.

And it made him miserable. He says he was continually anxious, trying to live up to that perfect standard. And it made him feel threatened and insecure, because he was constantly under the unwavering eye of God, who not only saw his actions but could know the thoughts of his heart. Saul found himself growing resentful and angry toward God, being always under the glare of that unyielding light of judgment. He found he was self absorbed. Am I doing all right? Am I being the perfect Pharisee? What if I fail? I dare not fail. I've got to earn my standing before God and before my associates.

So he doubled down on the system. If he ever felt bad about himself, he found he could repress his doubts by focusing outside himself, putting his attention on the ones whom he knew were wrong, those others. They were threats to the truths he had committed himself to. Purge the heretics. Fight the evil ones.

So often it is people who are uncomfortable with their own shadow who experience relief when they project their shadow upon others.

So Saul participated in the persecution of the Christians. He was there when Stephen was martyred. Saul heard Stephen's ecstatic cry of glory, "I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God!" And Saul covered his ears to protect himself from the blasphemy as he joined the crowed to rush to kill Stephen. Saul heard Stephen's last peaceful words, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit," and "do not hold this sin against them." (Acts 7) I think Saul saw in Stephen a peace that had escaped Saul.

But Saul was too invested in the whole system to let any nagging doubts see the light of day. He headed toward Damascus determined, with warrants from the high priest. He traveled down that road full of the internal pressures of the expectations of righteousness, bursting with anger toward those others, fueling the projections that held the lid down on his own internal angers and anxieties. He was ready to kill in the name of God, when he was blinded by the light.

"Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?" "Who are you?!" "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting." In a flash he realized: he's been going the wrong way. He has been wrong the whole time. But the voice doesn't kill him for being wrong. Instead the voice anoints him; calls him; empowers him. Spread the good news to the whole world!, the voice says. It's too big to be just a Jewish movement. You will become Paul, and you will take the good news to the Gentiles, the rest of the world.

Paul went away to the desert to work through all of that for a while. And here's what he came up with:

First, he knew how wrong he had been. He did not earn God's love and acceptance. But that's what he got – absolute love, acceptance, forgiveness, calling and empowerment. A sheer gift. Unearned. The man who had been trying in vain all his life to earn his status before God was given absolute divine acceptance as a gift, even at the moment he was most egregiously in error, intent on killing God's people. It's grace. It's all grace. A gift from God. Unearned. No strings attached. He knew: I was God's enemy, and God loved and saved me anyway. Justification by grace.

All Paul did was to accept the gift. To trust God's generosity. To accept the fact that he was accepted. Justification by grace through faith. Trust the gift and the giver.

He also realized, the gift is for everybody. Not just Jews. Not just the Christians who may get it. God's grace and God's triumph is universal, for all humanity. "As in Adam all die, so in Christ shall all be made alive." (1 Cor. 15:22)

God's triumph is total. It is also a gift. So we can relax. We don't have to earn God's acceptance of us. We are already accepted even while we are unacceptable. We don't have to fix the rest of the world; God loves them as much as God loves us.

That realization made Paul bulletproof. He no longer worried about himself, how am I doing? There was no self to worry about, because now he lived in Christ and Christ lived in him. And if he forgot or messed up, he only needed to remember and to trust the grace again.

Paul had been loved so completely, that he was free to love others completely. He didn't have to earn their love or their respect. He had infinite love and status forever as a gift. There's nothing to risk because there's nothing to lose. So he could give away his life; he was absolutely secure.

That's a great way to live, isn't it? No pressure. No one to perform for; no one to satisfy. It doesn't matter what they think about you; God loves you perfectly. All those groups claiming to have the truth, claiming your allegiance? They don't matter. You don't have to straighten them out, or, God forbid, kill them for being wrong. God is perfect truth, and eventually God's light will prevail. Just love your neighbor as yourself. Love is the great corrective. Love is the most powerful force in the universe.

Freedom. Total freedom. That's what Paul experienced. When you've known yourself to be loved and accepted as Paul had, you are free to accept life as it comes and to respond only in love. That's the good news. That's really good news.

_______________________

 The Mission of St. Paul's Episcopal Church is to explore and celebrate

God's infinite grace, acceptance and love.

For information about St. Paul's Episcopal Church and its life and mission, please contact us at

P.O. Box 1190, Fayetteville, AR 72702, or call 479/442-7373

More sermon texts are posted on our web site: www.stpaulsfay.org

Click the “Video Online” button to watch full services and sermons live-streamed or archived.