How Do You Deal With Anger?
How Do You Deal With Anger?
Sermon
preached by the Rev. Lowell E. Grisham, Rector
St.
Paul's Episcopal Church, Fayetteville, Arkansas
November
24, 2013; Last Pentecost, Proper 29, Year C
Episcopal
Revised Common Lectionary
(Luke 23:33-43) When they came to the place that is called
The Skull, they crucified Jesus there with the criminals, one on his right and
one on his left. Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them; for they do not
know what they are doing." And they cast lots to divide his clothing. The
people stood by, watching Jesus on the cross; but the leaders scoffed at him,
saying, "He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Messiah of
God, his chosen one!" The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering
him sour wine, and saying, "If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!"
There was also an inscription over him, "This is the King of the
Jews."
One of
the criminals who were hanged there kept deriding him and saying, "Are you
not the Messiah? Save yourself and us!" But the other rebuked him, saying,
"Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of
condemnation? And we indeed have been condemned justly, for we are getting what
we deserve for our deeds, but this man has done nothing wrong." Then he
said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." He
replied, "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise."
______________________________
(This sermon was first preached Nov. 21, 2004)
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re you one of those people
who was taught never to be angry. Good
girls, good boys, don't get angry.
Right?
Wrong.
Anger is an inevitable
emotion. It is planted deep within our
evolutionary inheritance. In various
places in scripture it is said that God becomes angry.
I like to say that anger is
the appropriate emotion whenever anything or anyone you love is
threatened. Some bully tries to
intimidate your little sister...; you are angry. Anger is an emotion that energizes and
motivates us for action, protective action on behalf of what we love.
Our gospel story today is a
picture of a collection of angry people.
"He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Messiah of
God" scoff the religious leaders. "If
you are the King of the Jews, save yourself," mock the soldiers of the
political state. Religion and politics,
church and state are both angry at Jesus.
And for good reason. He
threatened what they loved.
Jesus challenged the
religious conventions, teachings and power structures of his day. First century Judaism was characterized by a
rigid purity system that defined righteous and sinner, pure and impure, sacred
and profane. It was Biblically based,
objective and clear. It was also
oppressive. The system was enforced in
part by powerful elites who held a monopoly on forgiveness and administered an
unjust system of tithes and sacrifice through the Temple.
Jesus' teaching of easy,
universal access to a forgiving, compassionate God whose sun and rain fall on
just and unjust alike subverted everything they held as precious. He threatened what they loved, and their
resulting anger motivated them to stop him.
But he had to be a political
threat to be executed. Pilate and the
Romans couldn't care less about whatever religious laws Jesus might have broken. He was of interest to them only if he was a
political threat. But he began to
attract crowds. And riding into
Jerusalem on a donkey accompanied by a Messianic demonstration was enough in
the ruthless reign of Pilate. The Romans
loved order, power and control. Anyone
or anything that threatened what they love provoked the deadly anger of the
state.
So we see the fruits of
anger. The religious and political
authorities stand together at the cross, scoffing and mocking the one who
formerly threatened what they love.
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nger is contagious. One of the criminals picks it up and joins
the crowd. "Aren't you the
Messiah? Save us!" In the insanity that mob anger creates, he
joins the victimizing rage of his own executioners.
But the other criminal does
something else. He looks about with a
bit of objectivity and self-reflection, rare commodities in an emotionally
charged atmosphere. "Jesus,"
he says simply. "Remember me when
you come into your kingdom." What
gentle, kind words in a cauldron of anger.
And Jesus. At the center of this vortex of anger. What is his state of mind? "Father, forgive them, for they do not
know what they are doing." Amazing.
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ow do you deal with anger?
...the anger of others and your own?
Whenever anything you love is threatened, what do you do?
At our best, we'll try to
maintain some composure. Maybe like the
criminal on the cross who looks around objectively and self-reflectively, we'll
try to bring some rationality and understanding to the situation. That rarely works, does it? It probably didn't work for the good
criminal. He points out to the raging
one, "Look, we deserve this. Get off
his back." How much do you think
the angry criminal appreciated that insight?
Not much, I imagine. Instruction
and rational argument rarely change minds, it seems.
I don't have a lot stake anymore
in the notion that if you just explain your ideas persuasively enough, people
who disagree with you will come about.
Happens pretty rarely, doesn't it?
That doesn't mean it's not worth the effort. Rational discourse is at the heart of
civilized life. But I've come to expect
modest results.
I remember a conversation
with a sincere pastor from another denomination who is convinced that I am
apostate and my congregation will probably be going to hell because of our
heretical Episcopal ways. We talked
rationally and passionately, with good will, for about an hour. No minds were changed. We both went away much like we began, and the
best we both could say probably was "Father forgive him, he doesn't
know..." Never put your
satisfaction into results that involve changing another. We are almost powerless to change another
human being.
But we do have some modest
influence over our own selves, our hearts and minds. However, in my experience, I'd have to
emphasize that word "modest."
It's hard for us to change. It's
hard for me to change, especially about things that I have a lot of passion
about. That's where prayer helps. Especially when we're angry about
something. When something we love has
been threatened.
How do you deal with your
anger?
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y friend Barbara Crafton
who's visited St. Paul's in our McMichael series talks about the problem of our
carrying anger toward people whom we might see as adversaries or enemies,
people who threaten what we love. She
suggests that we place them first on our prayer list. Before we pray for those we love (that's
easy); pray for your enemies. Picture
them being showered with God's light and grace.
But do so for only a moment, not long.
Otherwise, we're tempted to start our lectures and tapes about their
wrongs.
How do you deal with your
anger? See those who provoke you bathed
in God's light and grace. And then move
on in your prayer and in your life.
Prayer is a mystery. Who knows how God may use our prayer as part
of what God is doing to heal the world?
But primarily what prayer does is to change us. Such a prayer as seeing God's light and grace
showering our adversary can change our hearts.
It can help our appropriate anger whenever someone or something we love
is threatened. It can help that natural
anger not grow into unhealthy resentment and rage – which is anger directed
outward – or bitterness and depression – which is anger directed inward. Such a prayer can give us space, so that if
we are drawn to any speech or action, we are more likely to be more objective
and self-reflecting like the good criminal, or maybe even forgiving like Jesus.
What good does it do? That depends on your perspective. At the end of the day on Good Friday, the
good will of the compassionate criminal and of the forgiving Jesus changed
nothing objectively. All three were
dead. The religious and political
threats had been eliminated with the efficient violence of state justice. But from another perspective, everything had
changed.
When Jesus absorbed evil upon
the cross, and all its lesser cousins – ignorance, control, pride, insecurity,
lust and hunger for power, even well-intentioned anger – when Jesus absorbed
all of those without returning any of it, Jesus broke the vicious cycle and
defeated death itself.
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esurrection happens. It's what God does with death.
Jesus invites us to
participate in a profound act of resistance.
He invites us to refuse to take the bait that turns anger into rage or
resentment. He invites us to refuse to
sink to the level of the provocation. I
imagine the raging criminal offered entertainment to the mockers as they
listened to him rant. That's what they
expected.
But Jesus on the cross,
refusing to return their hostility, subverts their world. It is a subversive act of power to refuse to
enter the vortex of the self-reinforcing cycles of inflating anger. I'll bet it troubled Jesus' adversaries to
hear his words, "Father forgive them; for they do not know what they are
doing." That's unexpected. That'll cause anger to pause. I'll bet they remembered that, and were
haunted. That's how we can participate
in what God is doing to heal the world.
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nger happens. It is the appropriate reaction whenever
anything you love is threatened. But
what will we do with our angers? Right
now, they are at the front of my prayer list.
I'm asking God's shower of grace and love upon those who represent the greatest
threats to what I love. That's probably
the only thing that will prevent my contributing to the vicious circles all
around us.
"Father
forgive me; I don't know what I'm doing either.
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