Transcendent Moments

Transcendent Moments

 Sermon preached by the Rev. Lowell E. Grisham, Rector

St. Paul's Episcopal Church, Fayetteville, Arkansas

August 2, 2015; Transfiguration Sunday, Year B

Episcopal Revised Common Lectionary

Luke 9:28-36 – About eight days after Jesus had foretold his death and resurrection, Jesus took with him Peter and John and James, and went up on the mountain to pray. And while he was praying, the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes became dazzling white. Suddenly they saw two men, Moses and Elijah, talking to him. They appeared in glory and were speaking of his departure, which he was about to accomplish at Jerusalem. Now Peter and his companions were weighed down with sleep; but since they had stayed awake, they saw his glory and the two men who stood with him. Just as they were leaving him, Peter said to Jesus, "Master, it is good for us to be here; let us make three dwellings, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah"--not knowing what he said. While he was saying this, a cloud came and overshadowed them; and they were terrified as they entered the cloud. Then from the cloud came a voice that said, "This is my Son, my Chosen; listen to him!" When the voice had spoken, Jesus was found alone. And they kept silent and in those days told no one any of the things they had seen.

_________________________

I'll bet many of you remember the Scholastic Books that they sold to kids at school. Inexpensive paperbacks to encourage reading. I think they still offer them. I can't remember when it was, I'm guessing around seventh grade, but I bought Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace. It seemed so impressive. I remember the book looked like a little brick. More than a thousand pages. I never made it past the first scene, completely intimidated by all of the Russian names at the society party in St. Petersburg. But last week on vacation I tried again. I'm about one-third of the way into it, and loving it.

One of Tolstoy's central characters is Prince Andrei – handsome, intellectual, yet disillusioned with the trivialities of social life, and dissatisfied with his wife who is so preoccupied with those trivialities. Andrei leaves his pregnant wife to join the army and go to war.

At the Battle of Austerlitz, Andrei is wounded. Lying on the battlefield, he gazes upward. Tolstoy writes, Above him there was nothing but the sky, the lofty heavens, not clear, yet immeasurably lofty, with gray clouds slowly drifting across them. "How quiet, solemn, and serene, not at all as it was when I was running," thought Prince Andrei, "not like our running, shouting, fighting; not like the gunner and the Frenchman with their distraught, infuriated faces, struggling…; how differently do those clouds float over the lofty, infinite heavens. How is it I did not see this sky before? How happy I am to have discovered it at last! Yes! All is vanity, all is delusion, except those infinite heavens. There is nothing but that. And even that does not exist; there is nothing but stillness, peace. Thank God…" [i]

Andrei is taken by the French, but back in Russia, his name didn't appear in the lists of the dead or the prisoners. Andrei's family feared him to be dead. They didn't tell his wife, trying to spare her anxiety in the final stages of her pregnancy. While she is in labor, Andrei returns, recovered, but he sees her only briefly before she dies in childbirth. The child survives, but Andrei becomes deeply guilt-stricken, disillusioned and depressed. He leaves the army and retreats to his country home, where time passes sadly.

Worried about Andrei, his friend Pierre shows up out of the blue one day. Pierre is earnest, hopeful. While they tour the farm, Pierre speaks with Andrei, trying to coax and persuade him about things that have left Andrei. Pierre pleads, saying "there is a God and a future life, there is truth and there is goodness, and a man's highest happiness consists in striving to attain them." Andrei stood still, gazing on the evening sun reflecting red on the blue waters. There was silence. Stillness.

Touched by his friend's care and earnestness, "Andrei sighed, and with a radiant, childlike, tender look, glanced at Pierre's face… 'Yes, if only it were so,' said Prince Andrei."

As they stepped toward their carriage, Andrei looked up at the sky, and for the first time since Austerlitz saw those lofty, eternal heavens he had seen while lying on the battlefield; and something that had long been slumbering in him, something that was best in him, suddenly awoke, joyous and youthful, in his soul. As soon as he returned to the ordinary conditions of life it vanished, but he was aware that this feeling, which he did not know how to develop, existed within him. Pierre's visit marked an epoch in Prince Andrei's life; though outwardly he continued to live in the same way, inwardly a new life began for him. [ii]

We have these moments of transcendent awareness, moments of a knowing that is deep, compelling, yet beyond our measure. Moments when reality is transfigured and deep and wonderful. Artists, poets, musicians and writers help draw us into these geographies. But they are only moments. And the drip-drip-drip of life continues, full of struggle and violence and doubt.

Our soul yearns to remember and to treasure this transcendent awareness. Many of our religious and spiritual practices intend to nourish our awareness. Some read Morning Prayer and let the words of scripture and our ancient prayers recall us to transcendent awareness. Contemplative practices like Centering Prayer can open us to the silence and stillness of the eternal.

There are so many ways to remember. Small groups often serve that purpose. AA drinks from that wisdom. We have a few groups of friends who follow a Benedictine model of reflection that includes intentional conversation about moments when we sense Christ's presence.

I find that when I intentionally, consciously remember what I have known and intuited about these transcendent things, I am better able to function within their light. But I have to remind myself. Remember – you are God's beloved child, infinitely loved and cherished. Remember – every person on the planet is God's beloved child, equally and infinitely loved and cherished. Remember – the present moment is all we have; be awake; live in the present; here and now is the only place I can know God; here and now is the only place I can do God's will.  Remember – love is the most powerful thing in the universe; under everything, Love is. Remember – the story of the cross tells us that God turns our human evil into new life. Remember – all is one, and ultimately it is good.

But life is so difficult, and we human beings can be so stupid and blind and violent. It takes attention and energy to pay attention to the lofty, eternal heavens when our attention is continually assaulted by insults from without and by self-centeredness from within. Yet, at our deepest reality, something inside of us knows the truth, as Dame Julian saw, "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well."[iii]

Maybe you've seen the Academy Award winning movie American Beauty. Kevin Spacey narrates as Lester, a middle aged father. His marriage is strained, his teenage daughter is unhappy and insecure. Lester describes himself as a loser. He develops an unhealthy infatuation with his daughter's classmate. His wife starts an affair with Lester's business rival. Lester quits his job and starts flipping burgers at a fast food chain. His daughter develops a relationship with the odd boy next door who makes secret camcorder recordings and supplies Lester with marijuana. The boy's father is an abusive, violent ex-Marine. (Spoiler alert. If you haven't seen the movie and don't want to hear how it ends, cover your ears now, or hit the mute button if you are watching online.)

The whole sordid mess comes to its conclusion as everyone begins to tell the truth to one another, painful, dark truths that they are. Lester realizes suddenly, to his own surprise, that he feels great. A man at peace, Lester sits at the table looking at a happy family picture from old times. He is unaware that there is a gun held to the back of his head.

In his final narration, Lester looks back on the events of his life as the screen flashes images of each character's reaction to the sound of the gunshot. I guess I could be really [ticked off][iv]…, he says, but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst… and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry… you will someday.[v]

---

[i] Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace, Signet Classics. Ann Dunnigan translation, passage found online at http://michaelprescott.typepad.com/michael_prescotts_blog/2009/02/andreis-vision.html

[ii] Ibid, Kindle, Loc 8151-12

[iii] Dame Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love, 13^th Revelation, Chapter 27

[iv] Actual text is "pissed off" – I didn't want to offend church sensibilities.

[v] American Beauty, 1999, from the synopsis at imdb.com

__________________________________________

The Mission of St. Paul's Episcopal Church is to explore and celebrate

God's infinite grace, acceptance and love.

For information about St. Paul's Episcopal Church and its life and mission, please contact us at

P.O. Box 1190, Fayetteville, AR 72702, or call 479/442-7373

More sermon texts are posted on our web site: www.stpaulsfay.org

Click the “Video Online” button to watch full services and sermons live-streamed or archived.